When things go missing...

Last year, in all the Christmas sales, I decided to get myself a little treat. I was feeling pretty down in the dumps and ridiculously tired after the year that we'd had. I had been needing sunglasses for a few months now but hadn't found the right ones. I'm a little picky when it comes to sunglasses and wallets and watches. I don't know why. Anyway, I strolled past Sunglasses Hut in Miranda Westfields one day with Zekey in the trolley. I had a quick look and found the most beautiful pair of sunglasses. At the time, I didn't know that they were Oroton (!!), but I knew that they were 50% off. Winner! So I tried them on. I loved them! So I bought them, knowing this was my last chance for a "splurge".

I looked after the sunglasses very well. Sprayed them with a special spray, kept them in their case when I wasn't wearing them, kept them well out of Ezekiel's reach.

On Saturday, at a friend's wedding, I lost them. I have no idea how it happened but they disappeared from my bag. Surely someone had taken them, I thought. I tried so hard not to be upset, to convince myself that things of this world come and go. I tried looking for them with no success. I decided I would ring them, meanwhile praying that God would help me enjoy Him and seek Him more than my sunglasses.

On the following Monday (amongst all the moving house things!) I rang St Andrews Cathedral reception just to check if they had seen the pair of sunglasses realising that people would have been in the church yesterday for a service, surely some hobo has taken them to make some money. When I rang, no one answered. I left my name and number and said "If you find the sunglasses, give me a call. Highly unlikely, I know." I decided that was that. I wouldn't see them again.

Guess what.

They were on the desk right there and then, right next to the receptionist. She rang. I answered. She said she had them. Shocked, I thanked her profusely and went on an adventure to get them with Zekey (where he chased the birds again).

Thanks God for that little lesson.

Godmother to a little gem.

Yesterday, I stood up as a godparent to a precious little girl, Norah. I stood up to promise that I would pray for this dear little one and help teach her about the greatness of God and His amazing sacrificial love for us. Rin asked me to pray for her just after she was baptised. This was my prayer and my prayers for her from this day forward will stem from this one:

Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth.

Thank you for the blessing of children. Especially, today, for our dear Norah Christine. Thank you for the joy she has brought us. Thank you for her beautiful happy smiles and delightful flappy arms.

Father, helps us as a church family to encourage Norah and spur her on to trust you as she grows. Help Myles and Erin as they bring her up to know you. May she be a woman of godly wisdom. Build her character to be one that is pleasing to you. Put your Spirit within her and move her to be your follower. Help her to walk with you and with fellow man in meekness. Give her a desire to know you and to have a personal intimate realtionship with you. Giver her a hunger and thirst to love and know you deeply. Give her an undivided heart to seek you and serve you. Help her to seek your direction in all things, whether big or small. Help her to trust in you with all her heart. Help her to lean on you through every trial. Father, give her the desire for things that please and glorify you.

Lord, provide her with friends and a husband who will encourage her in her relationship with you. Put people in her life who are lovers of you and who will challenge her to love you more every day.

Thank you for the gift she is to us.

Thank you for sending Jesus so that she and all of us can be part of your eternal family and perfect kingdom.

In Your Mighty Name,

Amen.

 My son and my goddaughter.

His newest thing.

This is Zekey's newest thing. Friday, he had no day sleep. Saturday, he had no day sleep. Today (Sunday), he had a half-hour nap. 

THAT'S IT. 

I'm not ready to say goodbye to the nap! :(

Goodbye peaceful lunches. Goodbye sweet day-sleeping face. 

Enter "rest" time.

I'm thinking about putting together a box of things for him to do while he rests in his cot. Do you have a rest time with your kids? What things do you do? I would love some tips!

Sorry to have left you but I was reading a good book...

You know what the best part of having a kid is? Well. There are lots of "best" parts. But my favourite at the moment is reading time before bed. 

With a full tummy, all clean and snuggly, we make the rounds. Goodnight Granpa. Goodnight Granny. Goodnight Unkey Dan. Goodnight Jake and Elwood. Goodnight birdies. Then we make our way upstairs. We settle down, with mood lighting of course, and open our book. 

I love this moment because although there is sometimes a struggle, I know that soon there will be silence. I start reading. I use a soft, gentle voice. 

We then leap into Narnia. Tonight the world was warming up. Aslan was near. We met beavers and dwarves and wolves. Even Father Christmas paid a visit.

Then, I look down and a little boy is asleep. 

Gosh, it was exciting. I can't wait until tomorrow night. 

It makes my mind come alive with ideas for my own story for my Zekey. (!)

It has been a year...

It has been a while. Life is just too crazy. And today my boy turned one. So here is a letter I have written to him:

My Dear Ezekiel,

At 7:58 am this very day a year ago, you entered my life. A new bubba who I named Ezekiel Jeremy. I can't thank God enough for this adventure and for keeping us safe.

This time last year we came face to face for the first time. I remember your pudgy little face like it was yesterday. It was instant love. And not just any love - I'd never loved anyone or anything as much as this before! I said to your Granny "He has my hair! And my lips!" And you still do! I love that you look like me. It gives me chills that someone so little could be created by me. So many things from that day made it perfect. Nothing could ruin the birth of my beautiful baby boy. You were so small and all mine. What a year we have had. I've enjoyed watching you grow, learn, smile, laugh, play, explore, meet people and communicate. You constantly amaze me. You are the funniest little man who I find myself always laughing with. You are so clever, too. You have kept me busy but I have loved this experience of being your mama so much. One day, when you have children, you'll know just how much I love you. God has been so good to me. My biggest prayer, my love, is that you put your faith in the Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ who poured out His mercy on us.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV)

I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. Then you will live in the land I gave your ancestors; you will be my people, and I will be your God. (Ezekiel 36:25-28 NIV)

Happy First Birthday, my sweet Ezekiel.

All my love and prayers,

Your Mama.

Every spiritual pilgrimage is a story…

I’d like to take a few minutes to tell you what I’ve been through the past two years.

In the last almost two years, I have seen God working vigorously in my life. Early 2011, I wasn’t in a great place and in fact it was a terrible and dangerous place. I was not living how anyone should, let alone a “Christian”. I moved away to Leura for university which was a terrible move because I was moving away from friends, family, church – my whole support system. And I moved away from God. I knew how God wanted me to live, I had learnt it my whole life! I was just being stupid and ignoring Him. Don’t get me wrong, uni was fun and I met some amazing people. But the way I was living was damaging – physically and spiritually. I started living for quick thrills instead of Jesus. I kick myself now because back then I KNEW it wasn’t good.

And then in about July of 2011, I found out I was pregnant. I had news that should be so exciting… but I was so ashamed.

More than that, I knew I was going to bring up a baby more than likely without a dad. This isn’t the way life is supposed to go!

I felt dirty and horrible. My reaction was to run away from everything. I thought I would be the biggest disappointment to everyone. The next few months were some of the hardest months I’ve ever experienced. It was tense at home, I didn’t want to go out with friends because I hadn’t told them and didn’t want them to know or find out, I didn’t want to be alive. But I had this new life growing inside me. I had mixed feelings as I came to terms with this. I was ashamed but knew I had to be there for this little one who would be so dependent on me. I had no way out.

Mum and Dad saw that I needed to be shown love. Mum took me to a women’s event at Church@thePeak – where I go to church now – and it was a day of “beauty”. I went away from that day having heard that God thinks I’m beautiful no matter how much I sin and no matter how much I have ignored him. All he wants is for me to turn back to Him. He wants me to be saved. It was a little nudge.

I then started going to church at Cross Connect in Beverly Hills and at Church@thePeak in Peakhurst. At the time they were doing a series on the book of Romans – and one week I heard that “no one is righteous, not even one” – We’re not perfect. No one is perfect. We stuff up. We make mistakes. And this is exactly what I had done. I had stuffed up big time. It was clear that there was a huuuge need for forgiveness. And then the next week I heard “but now a righteousness from God has been made known – this righteousness comes through faith in Jesus Christ”. The forgiveness I need every day is right there. The sin that I do every day has been taken away from me. I would be right with God if I put my faith in him – if I believed that God loved me that much that he sent his perfect son to die, ultimately defeat sin and then to rise again in order to make me perfect in his eyes so that I can go to God’s perfect Heaven and enjoy it for eternity. It was pretty obvious that God was trying to talk to me – to tell me that I was His and that He wanted me to come back to Him.

And then it got to a point where I had to tell everyone.

And an amazing thing happened – not one person said anything horrible to me. Everyone just loved me. My family was amazing. My friends were amazing. Strangers were amazing. And it meant so much.

And there it was… the excitement that is meant to come with the news “I’m having a baby!” Everyone was so excited for me… Hang on a second… I was being congratulated?!

I started to see it – What better way for God to get my attention other than that? Yeah, it was awful in the beginning, but I obviously needed a big kick up the butt – a big wake up call. And I get this amazing prize out of it.

And then the 26^th of March rolled around…

At 7.58 on that Monday morning I heard his first cry…

I saw for the first time this beautiful, scrunched up and puffy face…

I saw the little feet that had been kicking me in the ribs just minutes before…

God has given me this beautiful little boy who I love with my whole entire heart, who has changed my understanding of love completely.

I named him Ezekiel. When I was choosing a name, I tended to lean towards the more classic names, but the more I thought about this name that, originally, my brother had suggested to me, the more it made sense.

Ezekiel is a prophet from the Old Testament in the Bible. He had the job to tell God’s people to turn back to God – to trust God through the tough times that were ahead – to tell them of God’s promise to them of a future salvation and to tell them that God didn’t want them to die – he’d rather see them saved.

I felt that this baby boy did for me exactly what that prophet did for Israel. If I hadn’t have fallen pregnant, I might not be where I am today. I might not have gone to church. I might not have heard that God loves me, thinks I’m beautiful and wants me to be saved.

Every day, I am blown away by the fact that, even though I screwed up so badly and continue to screw up, I am actually perfect in God's eyes. I’m forgiven. And I want to tell everyone this story of mine, because I want you all to know that exact thing. I want you to know that you are loved by God. He wants us to be in Heaven with him. He wants us to turn to him and follow him out of this mess called sin. I was in a destructive place but God used Zeke to get me out of there and bring me back to Him.

Now I’m in the best place ever with God. And I now understand the purpose of God teaching us the way to live. He created the world, He knows how to live in it, He knows the consequences of not living that way.

But He also knows we’re not perfect and so He has provided the solution.

It’s right there.

We just need to trust Him.

Stoked for the first time...

Last night was my first night as a leader at Stoked.* It was such a great night! I had to get used to the fact that I was not looking after Zeke (who was being looked after by my fabulous parents). I was now responsible for twenty something teenagers. I also had to get used to the noise that comes with youth group! I felt like an old lady.

But soon I got into the swing of it. And I loved it. They are all so welcoming and friendly and most importantly they really love Jesus.

The first part of the night was spent sharing experiences from the summer holidays. Many of them went to LIT or CMS Summer School where they learnt many things from and about God. Their excitement was contagious!

Five things that struck me last night:

1. These teenagers had prayer right. As an adult, I've made it way too difficult. They spoke to God as if He was their dad - and that's how it should be!

2. They all loved each other like family. So refreshing!

3. Jesus didn't leave us. He's still here with us through the Holy Spirit. (Acts 1)

4. I'm so much older than they are! When did that happen?!

5. I've so missed being part of a youth group!

Thanks, God, for this awesome ministry and thanks for a fabulous team to work with.

:)

* Stoked is the youth group for Beverly Hills Anglican Church (including Church@thePeak). It is for high school aged kids.